Dangerous arctic freeze before quick warm-Uup
This week’s outlook starts with a warning, PLAN FOR EXTREME COLD THROUGH THE WEEKEND. Wind chill will be as low -35°F on Wednesday and Thursday. Ambient temperatures will top out at -4°F. Obviously, this weather is extremely dangerous.
A high wind advisory was issued by the National Weather Service earlier this week. On Tuesday, January 4, wind speeds reached 45+ mph and brought a sub-Arctic freeze upon us. Wednesday, January 5, will be dangerously cold with a high of just -4°F and a late-night low of -17°F. Wind speeds are expected to exceed 35 mph in early morning hours and decrease to 15 mph by midnight.
Thursday will be partly cloudy and VERY cold with an early morning low of -16°F at sunrise that will feel like -35°F and a late afternoon high of -5°F. It will feel like -22°F. Winds will be gusting NW 13 mph in the morning to ESE 5 mph in the evening. The ESE sunset wind shift will warm things up a little bit. There is a 10% chance of snow throughout the day.
Friday is going to be cloudy with a sunrise temperature of -4°F that will feel like -20°F. Things will warm up to a high of 13°F that will feel like -1°F by late afternoon. It should stay like that through the night. Winds will be a much calmer SE 10 mph to 12 mph throughout the day. There is a 15% chance of snow.
Saturday will be somewhat warmer with partly cloudy skies; expect a high of 19°F that will feel like 6°F and a late-night low of 12°F that will feel like -20°F. Winds will be on the lighter side after an early morning SE-NW shift but will pick up speed and bring in a blast of Arctic cold.
Sunday will be mostly sunny with a sunrise low of -2°F that will feel like -23°F and an afternoon high of 9°F that will feel like -4°F. Winds will be shifting NW-N-SE-W 6 mph to 9 mph. There is a 4% chance of snow.
Monday will be sunny with an early morning low of -3°F that will feel like -16°F and an afternoon high of 19°F that will feel like -13°F. Winds will be a fairly light S-SSE 6 mph to 10 mph. There is a 4% chance of snow.
Tuesday will feel like a heat wave with mostly sunny skies and a high expected to reach at least 38°F. That will be a 40°F temperature swing in less than 24 hours. Winds are expected to be gusting W-WNW 9 mph to 14 mph. There is a 6% chance of snow.
Next Wednesday and Thursday should be mostly sunny with highs in the upper 30s that may reach into the lower 40s. Expect lows in the low 20s. Wind chill will make it feel about 15°F colder than ambient temperatures. Winds will hold steady WNW-W 9 mph to 12 mph. There is a 5% chance of snow.
How cold is it? It’s colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg. It’s so cold that I saw a politician with her hands in her own pockets. It is so cold that snowmen are migrating south. Those are the weather jokes for this week, please send something funnier to firstname.lastname@example.org. Be safe, mask-up, and stay warm.