West River Eagle

Letter to the Editor


My Testimony

What’s life with no meaning? I know I was born with a purpose, but my soul’s constantly screaming. Born in a world of corruption, wrong turn led to destruction, learned the art of seduction at six-years-old, stripped of my innocence, thinking these were the cards I was dealt, that’s exactly how I felt.

At the age of fifteen, full of shame and guilt, hiding today behind the walls I built, shootin’ and smokin’ dope, just so I can cope, listening to Satan’s lies, he tells me no one hears my cries.

Hiding my fears, trying not to reveal my tears, hurt, anger and resentments.

The whole time God knows what he’s doing with my life. I was turning to the wrong people for comfort and advice, not knowing their hearts were cold as ice, thinking I had a friend, only to get tossed like a bone, so I learned to stand alone.

I just want to run away and sleep in the park; hide my feelings like a kid scared of the dark. When I’m doing wrong, everyone turns on me. It don’t take long. Friends and family only by my side when I am doing right.

What happened to unconditional love? That only comes from the man above. I caught a case, not once, but twice! Was that my price?

Stuck in chains, all I feel is pain, as I drop to my knees, I ask God please!!! Forgive me!

My doubt turned to faith. God promised to get me through, not turning back. Doing all I can to stay on track.

I know I’m worth it, to take care of me. Now I see, God knew the path I’d lead. My path equals my testimony.

I’m grateful for my past, my testimony’s sure to last. I’ma use my testimony to change lives, by listening, being sensitive to people’s pains and cries, holding on and not giving up, blessings from God filling my cup.

My new life, I’m not going to treat like a game.

Today, I’m not the same. Some times I feel I’m doing this time all alone, but no — I got the Big Man above by my side, sitting on the throne.

I wrote this poem while in the drug abuse program. That’s helped me overcome some of my struggles. One thing I learned is no matter what, I always have a choice.

You’re free to make a choice, but you’re not free from the consequences of that choice.

This quote stuck in my head since the day I seen it. I, myself, made some choices in my life — some bad, some good.

I’m sharing this because a lot of us at times think we have no choice, but we do, and sometimes we let alcohol and drugs make those choices.

We got to move on from all that poison. It breaks our families up, takes us away from our cultural ways. The youngsters are our future. I pray they make good choices.

I’m comin’ home soon, and I’m looking forward to getting involved with the you, going to sweat lodge, and sundances, helping our people, and staying united as Natives.

Life’s too short and precious to be playing games.

Thank you for your time and I hope you like my poem.

Prayers and Blessings,

A. Oakie/Skyblu

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